Sniper (Devil's Shadow MC, Book 2) Page 10

  "Only for you," I say, shrugging.

  Her eyes widen in alarm but thankfully she nods. I think she wants to go back to her job but surprisingly, she gets on her tiptoes to kiss me. "Just be careful."

  How many people had ever told me that? How many times have I said the same thing?

  The answer earns a pathetic laugh. No one. I've had no one ever tell me to be careful cause all of them assumed me to be careful and always on guard. And I am. I am always careful yet the words mean more from her than my brothers. If they ever say it that is.

  "I will. I promise. We have hella lot to discuss yet."

  Her small smile is the last thing I see before the Devils gather at the entrance. She watches me as I open the front door and leave to finish our second stage of revenge. And if I have to include her on our little game then,

  Be careful indeed.

  CHAPTER 23

  GWEN

  I love you.

  How many times have I heard that word? How many of them have really meant it? Love made mom run from a monster. It got her killed brutally. Love made Grace weak. It made her desperate enough to sell her soul to the devil willingly. It made her kill. Love made Josh deceitful. It made him a fool, enough to betray us.

  So what does love make Seth?

  I love you, Gwen. How easily he said that. How easily his eyes darkened at the thought of me being his. But being his...what kind of person can I make him?

  A murderer? An insane fool? Or just a weak man?

  Surprisingly none of them mattered. None of them mattered because every time he looked at me, the ache between my legs grew to the point that only he could relieve me from the feeling of emptiness. Because he's driving those people out of my mind...out of my world. Cause he's the only monster in my dark world now.

  And no devil or angel can take his place.

  "Are you scared?" Am I? Am I scared really?

  I turn around to see the redhead staring at me expectedly, waiting for me to answer her question. Are you scared, Gwen? "I don't know. Should I be?"

  She shrugs, opening the window. The worn down banister cracks just like myself but she has her eyes on me. She looks me up and down like you do right before you tell someone that they shouldn't be hopeless. Everything will be just fine. Seth's favorite words. My unwanted salvation.

  Just as I predicted she starts with an easy-going smile. "Well...If I know the Devils, they always have a backup plan so I'm not that worried. But what about you? You were pretty upset when I came to the clubhouse to give you a lift."

  I'm not upset. I'm wondering why I felt a pang go through my heart when he left. Why he’s the only one constantly on my mind. Why I can't take my eyes off the drunk women who always talk about him in the bar as if they want him for themselves.

  Maybe this is what he meant as love. Maybe this is love.

  Cause being away from Josh didn't hurt this much. It pains me to imagine Seth with those women. Imagine them moaning as he made their world light up.

  It doesn't settle well for me. Not at all.

  "Gwen?"

  "Do you think I’m capable of love?" Such an odd question. Maybe that's why she frowns at me with curiosity.

  "Why'd you ask me that? Of course, you can." She says smiling and my throat goes dry in thought. How can she be so fucking positive all the time? "Everyone can if they want to. Even you."

  "And what if I said that I might love a murderer? Then what?" If I was hoping for the shock to reach her, I'm gravely disappointed.

  There's no judgment in her eyes when she stares at me. Only understanding. "Then I'd say you truly love him. Even if he's hated by the world."

  In my world at least he's not hated. In my world, he's only...mine. Simple as that.

  Maybe that's why, when he enters the room with blood all over his clothes, I don't judge or flinch away. I only follow him until he walks toward the bathroom and I dutifully help him get rid of those blood covered clothes. Stopping for a second, even I tug the hem of my shirt to lift it off my body. And when his gaze meets mine, there's only us.

  "Are you afraid of me now?" He grits his teeth, asking that question again. Once upon a time, I might have been...But now I'm only afraid that one day I'm going to wake up without him beside me.

  So, I don't answer.

  I respond to him by taking his mouth against mine. His warm tongue searches mine in a frenzy, feeling every bit of me. He tastes like copper. Like the blood on his body. But he's still Seth. His wondering touch still makes me moan. And he knows it, God how he knows it.

  My legs quiver, my knees almost buckle. He moves a little to help me stand properly but his hands are still on me. They are still creating fire and I'm a willing contestant to burn.

  "Are you sure?"

  I've never been that much of a liar. So there's no point in lying now. "Yes, Seth I'm sure."

  Everything I crave is him. I don't know who embraces who first, but all I know is that I'm facing the wall and warm water is running down my back. All I know is that he is throbbing against my back, making me whimper.

  Our bodies mold together and he doesn't take a second to explore. Biting and tasting all I have to give. I can't stop myself from touching him either. To remember each and every scar, every corner, every hard edge. And when I turn back so that my hands reach down to where he throbs most, all I know is I need to have him.

  Now.

  "Fuck, Kitty!" He groans under his breath but I still hear, I hear all the sounds he makes every time my hand wraps around his angry cock. Every time my fists slide up and down. His eyes don't break from mine even when his fingers tease me. Even when my lips part to scream, from the feel of him inside of me. And I know I'm moaning for more. Even when he's coming all over my hand.

  He loves me. So I show him just how much I can love him back.

  I kiss him again, this time we both moan, we both burn. His fingers sink into my pussy and yes...I need him to make me his. My back arches, trying to make him go faster, harder, longer. I nearly come when his breath tickles against my ear, lightly biting when he says those words again.

  "I love you, Kitty. I love you. So come for me. Show me you can love me."

  I do. I do love him.

  "S-Seth! I love you." And I come. I come screaming his name. But he's not moving. He's staring at me like a predator. He's inhaling my whimpers. And I realize this is the real torture, not been able to know what's going on inside his head. To be not able to scream when he finally takes mercy on me.

  When he's finally inside me.

  I lose all my control. And I realize that he's letting me fuck him. I'm the one taking him in, torturing both of us. My hips move urgently, the distant sound of water reaches through our ears but we have a new soundtrack of ours.

  Seth! Seth! Seth!

  "Say it again." He laughs as if he still can't believe that I said the words. So I say them. Again and again. Until his hips slam into me. Until he starts fucking me. Until his grunt fills the bathroom. Or is he making love? I don't know. And I don't bother to know either.

  "Seth! I-I'm close-"

  "Come, my Kitty." Mine...There's something about the way he conveys the words. Like I can stop thinking. Like nothing else matters than us. Like the only thing I can feel is him.

  He slams into me one more time and I can't stop myself. I’m too needy to chase the high he can give me. And, he's too warm for me to not control my own body. I feel him stiffen and then we are both chasing the high.

  "Oh, God!"

  My lips go dry, my throat burns to taste him again. Yet his dark ocean blue eyes burn into me more, as the scream leaves my lips. He's watching me falling apart just as I'm watching him. And, he knows I will embrace anything he will give me. He knows I can never leave. I can never be anyone's. Always his. His Kitty, only his.

  And when I've fallen to the ground, he's only ever helpful to fall with me...

  CHAPTER 24

  SNIPER

  I love you.

  W
hat do you do when someone needs you like the way you need them? Like you need air to breathe, a soul to live. The self-righteous thing is to stop and make her understand. Why I came home reeking of blood. Why I couldn't look at the mirror even after seeing the damage I did to others.

  I called the police. I let them know that the shipment was going to be stolen. We ran with the shipment while I helped the cops catch Lorenzo at the price of finding Ceaser. And rightfully they are pissed. Pissed enough to ask for our help because of our peace treaty.

  So what am I even going to see in the mirror tonight?

  A man who can't stop at anything to take revenge? Or someone who is slowly losing his shit to hold on just so his Kitty can have a shred of life without fear?

  At this point, I don't fucking know. All I know is she conveys her love over and over in her way, then we sleep some only to make love again until she starts to scream in her sleep.

  "Why! Stay away! No!"

  Up this close, I can see her tears running down her face. Who is this new monster running at her? Maybe me or maybe not. I'm vaguely aware that I'm shaking her shoulder, taking her small body over my lap and she's breaking. She's crying for all the time she couldn't.

  "Shhh...I've got you, Kitty." I don't know if she hears me or not. Though I'm the only one she's clutching onto as her only lifeline.

  "I HATE HIM! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!"

  Her cry could've killed me more than the bullet I've taken for the Devils. And when she stops, her voice is tired. Oh, Kitty...welcome to our world.

  "What did they do to me, Seth? Why'd they had to ruin me? Why, Seth?" Why, Seth? Why? I don't have an answer. In a dark and twisted way, I wish I knew what she went through but...I knew, didn't I?

  "What's that look on your face?" Misery loves company. In our case, our souls recognize each other.

  I don't even realize that my hold on her has tightened until she flinches yet I still can't let go. I hold tighter as I try to remember the small snippet of what I can get. Screams, a choking sound, the burning trail of alcohol going through the pipe, stop, stop, stop, and a harsh laugh.

  "It was a bad dream." At last, I gather. "My old man said it was a fuckin’ bad dream."

  But was it though?

  The scars on my body told otherwise. When asked they always had an answer. Last night you drank until you passed out, you couldn't have remembered beating someone. It happens, Seth. You fell off the stairs, you did a fight to the death, and you might have screwed someone rough.

  I was thirteen.

  Lethal was fifteen. He used to look at me with pity like I didn't understand a joke everyone laughed at. Sometimes he drank with me, sometimes he used to send me out of Southside to enjoy a few days alone. And when I came back, he used to be mad as hell. Then another marathon of shots and then...then I forgot how the wounds appeared at odd places.

  I just forgot.

  "Seth?" To her credit, she doesn't flinch when I turn to look at her. The rage in my eyes are raw, the confusion even harsher.

  "My father tried to get me out of this life once. I think he knew what was goin’ on. Mad Dog challenged him on a fight to the death." Her eyes widen, her fingers clasp tight enough to choke anyone. Even she knows what that means.

  "Did he-"

  "He's alive." I'm quick to assure her, though who assures me I'm not sure. "He accepted. Mad Dog beat him until my old man broke his kneecap. He was goin’ to kill my father. I begged him. I begged him to let go."

  I still remember the way his gaze gleamed when I was on my fucking knees, asking him to leave my father alone. When I cried out that I was willing to take as many shots as he would give me just to let my father get out of Southside.

  "What was the price?" She asks softly. Her tears have dried down but not gone. I'm only here to take her mind off the nightmares. Even she knows that and I know her mind has already connected the dots.

  If only I could have done that for myself...

  "Me. My sanity. My soul. I was the price, Kitty. And I let him have a free reign on me. I stopped with the questions too. No one was going to answer me anyway. So I drank to the point that even the small memories faded away. I would go to his office in the afternoon and in the morning I would wake up next to Lethal in the basement."

  "That's why you hate drinking." She shakes her head at the discovery. I think I've surprised her more than I'd like to admit. Maybe that's why I was drawn to her for the first time. She wore the pain better than anyone after all. "It's not a choice, it's a reminder of what you lost."

  A laugh breaks out. Maybe it's her or me. I don't fucking care. All I know is I have to tell her. I have to let her know how much I despised that son of a bitch. "One day he went too far. That asshole had no choice but to send me to the hospital. The nurses watched me with horror in their eyes. They looked at me as if I wasn't real. Asked me questions too. All I said, was that I didn't remember. Alcohol fucked my mind up. Made me think every fuckin’ thing was alright." She laughs with me too.

  How fucking naive I was.

  "If the doctors didn't tell me vividly of every fuckin’ detail of my continuous rape then I would be fuckin’ clueless till this day. Lethal knew everything. Apparently, I was gone the whole day without tellin’ him so he went to find me. He found me alright but the reason he was thrown permanently into that basement was because he tried to stop the bastard from hurting me. Even then I think I knew but I just decided to ignore everything. If only-"

  I-I fucking can't. Screams tickle over my neck as if I am inside that office now. Even the distant sound of stop catches my ears. And she understands too. She accepts my silence as if it’s her own. She embraces them as she did with herself. And when I look at her I can only ask myself does she know? Does she know what we are? And when her nails pass over the white almost fading scars, I realize that she knows it too.

  We both have been hurt by the devil and still considered to be an angel. But for how long?

  CHAPTER 25

  GWEN

  He has seen my dark world and came out of it alive.

  The truth haunts me for the last few days more than I can handle. Should I be so surprised though? After all, he was the only one who knew the pain, the loneliness, and the burden of carrying the disturbing scars.

  More than Grace even. She has only seen the snippet of my hell, after all.

  "I'm so excited!" The voice comes as a sting. What is she so excited about? "Finally Vixen is going to get her patch."

  Is she? How could I not know?

  "You know how many preparations are going on in the clubhouse? Prez ordered us all to be on our best behavior. Even Reaper. That poor guy was whining about not scoring tonight." Ginger laughs, shaking her red mane of hair. I'm tempted to run to the clubhouse now and ask my sister why I didn’t know. Was I that much of an inconvenience for her?

  "She saved us from losing the club, you know. Some bastards wanted to ruin our home." Ginger doesn't know me being a part of Mad Dog's sick plan. She couldn't be. Or she would never tell me. "But your sister is something else. She risked her life to save ours. We are all happy to get her in our family. A rare gem she is, just like you, Gwen."

  Grace, my sister, my weakness...

  How can she?

  "Gwen? What's wrong?"

  "Nothing." Laughter bubbles up to my core. "Absolutely nothing."

  How can I even disagree with my sister when I'm walking on her path? First being addicted to someone, second lying, then...then what next? Revenge? Becoming someone I don't want to be?

  "That look on your face doesn't look like absolutely nothing." She scoffs, I laugh more.

  Before she can counter me more, the door opens with a thud. His eyes find me first but his face reveals nothing. So I wait until there's a practiced grin on his face. It's fascinating to even me how he can show so many different emotions to different people. It doesn't matter what he's feeling, to these people, he's always happy.

  Happy.

  What makes him
truly happy?

  I wonder with a smile. The ashes in the ashtray or me? Tough question. Even tougher competition. But I know none of that matters as long as he'll be the Devil everyone seeks when needed help.

  "There you are. I've been lookin’ for you two for an hour. Have you ever not silenced your phone?" He scolds, turning to Ginger. She rolls her eyes while looking for her phone. When she finally finds it, there's more than ten calls and all of them from Seth.

  "Shit! I must have forgotten to turn it back on. So, why were you looking for us?" Even I'm curious to know why.

  "Prez required you for a man we caught. He's bleeding badly and Leon is out of Southside. We need your help." Ginger is out of the room before he can finish. If I thought he would join her, I'm gravely mistaken.

  He holds my gaze for like forever before walking closer to me. He smells like blood again even if there's no sign of blood on his body. Maybe that's what his natural scent has become now.

  "Vixen sent me to take you to the clubhouse."

  He waits for me to say something. Maybe he's hoping for me to scream. To ask questions. But all I can manage to do is a nod.

  "You're Ok with this?" He's skeptical. His tone deepens but I still chose to stay quiet. "Don't hide from me, Kitty. I know you're dying to say something."

  "She hates what she has become. Yet I know she's going to be happy after today. How's that possible?" The question doesn't shock him. I think it even amuses him.

  In answer, he only trails his thumb over my lips until I shiver. Until he's grinning but this time it's genuine. It's so goddamn...him.

  "Come on, you will see."

  Torn between laughing him off or walking, I don't even realize that I'm out of the room and walking toward his bike. Only when he's placing me onto his bike, that I look up to meet his gaze. And what I find in them...I know I'm being just as selfish as Grace. I know why she wants to be a part of this life. I know that she can't leave and she doesn't even want to. And maybe neither will I...